Naomi uses her arrival in Bethlehem to be an expression of her deep despair. She tells them that grief,loss and failure have so changed her and her identity that she has had a name change. She changes her name from Naomi which means pleasant to Mara which means bitter. The Hebrew
custom of naming a child was that the name was more than just a label it said something about your identity. Naomi is making a statement that pain, and loss had so marked her that her identity had changed.
In the OT bitterness is a symbol of bondage and misery. In the Passover they eat bitter herbs to remind them of the misery and bitterness of their bondage in Egypt. Naomi took a name for herself that reflected her pain, grief, and bitterness which felt like a bondage. Our memory is not neutral. We store information in our memories on the basis of meaning. We take the data of our personal lives and we give it personal meaning that provokes certain emotions within us. Memory is not a record of what occurred, rather it is selective, meaning driven and subjective. Memory is not so much like a photograph as it is like an impressionistic painting. Naomi in this passage is giving us a vivid picture of her pain and her loss. She gives us a word picture of leaving Bethlehem full and then returning empty.
Jabez was more honorable than his brothers . His mother had named
him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the
God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let
your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from
pain.” And God granted his request. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
Jabez like Naomi had a name that reflected his pain. His mother shaped a name for him that came out of a painful memory. Naomi renamed herself Mara painting a picture of herself that reflected her painful memories and loss. Think about your losses and the pain that flow out of them. We all have experienced the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or our health, a divorce, a wayward child or perhaps some kind of failure or suffered an abuse.
What kind of picture has pain and loss painted in your memory? If you had to give yourself a name that reflected the pain and loss that you have experienced what would that name be....
Isaiah 62:4, “No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah( my delight) and your land will be called Beulah (married).”
The Israelites had been given the name Deserted and their land had been given the name Desolate. Names that reflected pain and loss. As God gives new promises to them as a people and to their land, He also gives them new names. Jabez cried out to God to enlarge his territory, to keep him from harm, and for God’s hand to be upon him and to take his pain away. And the Word said that God answered his request. We can cry out to God to take our pain away and to give us new names that reflect His promises for our future.
Spiritual exercise, giving a name to your pain
1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and sanctify the time and to sanctify your imagination.
2. Ask the Spirit to create within your mind a “safe place” where you can meet with the Lord. It is good to be in a safe place when you look at your pains and losses. Ask Jesus to join you in that safe place.
3. Ask the Spirit of God to give you insight. What impressionistic painting have you allowed your memory to paint of you and your pain and losses?
4. What name would you say best represents you and the pain and loss you have suffered?
5. Tell Jesus what that name and picture mean to you. Jabez cried out to God and asked Him to free him from pain and to keep him from harm. The Word says ,”and God granted his request.” This would be a good time to cry out to God that He would free you from your pain.
6. Ask Jesus if He would bless you. Ask Him to enlarge your territory. Ask Him for His hand to be upon you and to keep you from harm. Ask Him to take your pain and see yourself giving it to Him.
7. Before you are ready to end this exercise sit quietly in the “safe place” Ask God to give you a new name one that comes with a promise.
Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me
and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me
from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted
his request. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
Discussion Questions for Growth Groups
1. Why is it difficult to honestly process our pain and loss with others? What are the fears?
2. How does unprocessed pain and loss affect the rest of our emotions?
3. Reflecting on the story of Ruth, are you a loyal person who can be trusted with other people's pain and loss?
4. What is your story of pain and loss?
