To agree in the Lord is to be in the same mind in the Lord. Whatever the dispute between the two women they had forgotten that they had a common ground in Jesus. We will never have solid ground on which to agree apart from Jesus. We will never find ourselves in complete agreement with others if our agreement is around our opinions. As we remember to agree with each other in the Lord we have a point from which good communication can flow. We may disagree about an issue but can still “agree in the Lord”.
Paul’s response after calling for the women to agree in the Lord, is to ask them to rejoice. Spurgeon said about this text, “I am glad that we do not know what the quarrel was about; I am usually thankful for ignorance on such subjects; but as a cure for disagreements, the apostle says. ‘Rejoice in the Lord always.’ People who are very happy, especially those who are very happy in the Lord, are not apt either to give offense or to take
offense. Their minds are so sweetly occupied with higher things , that they are not easily distracted by the little troubles which naturally arise among such imperfect creatures as we are. Joy in the Lord is the cure for all discord”. Paul’s joy wasn’t based on a worldly optimism or positive thinking but on the simple fact that God was in control.
anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your
requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard
your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4: 4-7
Paul then tells the Phillipians something interesting. He says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” The word used for gentleness is an interesting word, it can means patience, moderation, an unwillingness to litigate or contend. Paul addressing a conflict between two women makes sure that we know that we should not contend with each other, but we should be patient and moderate. This word describes a person who doesn’t need to fight their battles but who will let the Lord fight their battles because the Lord is near. It is easier to trust in the Lord when you know He is near. Paul then goes on to tell us to not be anxious. Conflicts in our relationships make us very anxious. Instead of being anxious we are to pray, petition God. Good communication with others flows out of good communication with God. Paul then says that peace should come and it will be our guard. We do not have to contend and fight to guard ourselves but actually peace can be a
garrison or a fortress that can protect us.
Paul gives us these instructions....
1. Agree in the Lord
2. Rejoice
3. Be known for gentleness
4. The Lord is near
5. Don’t be anxious, Pray!
6. The peace of God will be your guard
Exercise... Navigating Relationships
1. The word Paul uses for ‘guard our hearts’ here in this passage means a ‘fortress’ or a ‘garrison’. Ask the Spirit to create in your mind a safe place where you feel guarded and safe.
2. Spend time with the Lord in your safe place and ask God if there is a relationship where you have conflict, or have had conflict, that you need to bring before Him.
3. As you think through this relationship and the conflict, ask the Lord what it would look like for you and this person to “agree in the Lord”.
4. Paul instructs us to rejoice, rejoice always. Ask God to teach you how to rejoice in the midst of this conflict and difficulty in relationship.
5. Our next instruction is to, “Let your gentleness be evident to all”. This gentleness is not to just be shown in those areas where we have conflict, but Paul says let it be evident to all. Is this a quality that is easy or difficult for you to display?
6. Remember that the Lord is near. Let this truth encourage and support you.
7. Don’t be anxious. Pray about the difficult details having conflict with another person.
8. Access the peace of God as your guard.
be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God.
And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:2, 4-7
Discussion Questions for Growth Groups
1. Acts 9:15 tells God’s heart for Paul, “He is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name.”
a. What is the significance of being a vessel for the Lord?
b. How does knowing that God chooses you make you feel safe and secure?
c. What does it mean to you to bear the name of Jesus?
2. John 15:15 says, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends.”
a. What does friendship with Jesus mean to you?
b. Jesus says that he has appointed us to bear fruit, much fruit. What does idea do for you? How do you react to this concept?
c. He also promises access to the Father. You can ask the Father anything in His name. Does you see that nothing is being withheld from you?
d. Is it possible that there needs to be a reorientation in terms of your relationship with God and your relationships with others?
3. We are all looking for three foundational needs to be met in relationship: acceptance, significance, and safety or security.
a. How do I find these needs met in Jesus?
b. How do I meet these needs in the lives of the people in my life?
c. How do I get my needs met?
d. Do I value the relationships that are free from rejection, free from fear, and where I am valued?
e. Do I spend all my energy trying to gain acceptance from those who will not accept me and trying to prove that I am valuable to those who do not value me?
